Be less than who you are? NO! STOP IT NOW!

Do not "turn down your shine" to ease the insecurities of a mate you are not guaranteed to be with in the long run? It does nothing but limit where you can go and what you can accomplish.

I'm watching an old episode of "America's Next Top Model" and one of the girls has a boyfriend that is so insecure about himself that he's projecting it on the relationship. He yells at, belittles and threatens her because he's so afraid of what she's doing in her life. It made me mad as hell. Now, had she listened to him and just came home from a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, her life dream of becoming a world renowned fashion model would have been squashed. And for what? Some guy who probably wouldn't even be around six months down the line?

Before that, I was watching MTV's "16 and Pregnant" (I know I need to stop watching reality TV, right?), and the girl was doing everything from working to going to school to being on a dance team. All the while, she was the only one taking care of her 6-week-old son. The father lived in the house, but that's all he did! He would go to work in the morning then go out with his friends the rest of the day and night. He wouldn't even feed or change the baby without being begged. She was trying to study and he refused to do anything with the baby so that way she couldn't get anything else done. He was threatening to leave if she asked him to help her out and she said go ahead and leave. She had the right idea.

In my own life: When I was pregnant with my four-month-old daughter, my EX (the emphasis here being that these people are NOT going to be a significant part of your personal life and growth when the hand of times keeps going on!) wanted me to give up my plans of going back to school and just sit around the house like somebody's housewife. (Mind you, I wasn't a wife, so had I let him supposedly take care of me, he could have up and left and I would be out on the street with no job, no education - not a leg to stand on.) I held my ground. And then I found myself being the only person trying to better our situation before the baby came, so I left him because he was causing me more stress than he was helping. Now I'm taking care of her on my own and he still isn't doing anything for her. (That's not really the point though.)

The point is: Limiting yourself or lowering your own goals and abilities to make someone one else feel better about themselves is some straight up and down b.s.! That person that's trying to make you feel like you should be less than to boost their confidence does not care about you if they can't be happy for where you are or where you're going. I know I only showed examples for women, but this goes for the men too. If there is anybody in your life who is ultimately dispensable, don't let them throw a monkey wrench in your plans so they can have some control and better feelings about themselves!